Wednesday, 10/25/17: Reflection

Hey guys! It’s 12:49am as I begin this post. Technically Thursday morning, but who’s keeping track?

I’ve officially renounced sleep as a lost cause for tonight. Got an iced cappuccino by my side and a stack of homework papers and textbooks awaiting to be studied. Decided to take a little study break and recap on the happenings of today!

I had planned on waking up at 4:00am this morning to study, but that didn’t happen. Instead, I awoke at 8:45am, dragged myself out of bed and arrived right on time to my 9:30am Russian class. I was pretty exhausted from the start of the day… no amount of caffeine could perk me up. The iced vanilla latte I drank after Russian class kept me from nodding off while studying in between classes, but my consciousness was still very much blurred throughout the rest of the day.

My LS 15 group and I had our debate today! As I had not spoken in public for a bit, my skills were a bit rusty, and I was ostensibly nervous. It didn’t help my nerves that I had stepped up to be one of the “rebuttlers” of my group, a role which required one to think on one’s feet. Impromptu speaking is definitely not one of my strong suits, but I’m eager to improve! As I’ve regained momentum towards my goal of becoming a confident public speaker, I will 100% be attending tomorrow’s Bruin Toastmasters meeting, and hopefully get some public speaking practice in! Very excited to see how far I can grow as an orator.

My parents have decided to come down to LA once more this weekend, to “visit” me and Austin, but more likely to make sure I’m not starving in my apartment. As you all know, my diet of late has been absolutely unacceptable, and I must change my eating habits, left I wish to gain any more weight. I’m too scared to even step on the scale at this point, because I already know I’ll quiver at the number I will see. Just gotta regain that discipline surrounding healthy lifestyle habits, like diet, exercise and sleep (*cough cough I should probably go to bed soon).

I don’t remember feeling this overwhelmed with studies last year, as a pre-med student. The three classes I am currently taking are not notorious for being especially difficult, so I wonder why I must put in so much work just to stay afloat. Russian is understandable– it’s a brand new unfamiliar language, and a complex one, at that. I’m taking Psych 100A with the difficult (but very good-looking) professor, Dr. Jaffe, so I guess that explains why I must study so much to do well in his class. LS 15 did not live up to its potential as an “easy-A”. Not by a long shot. I’m playing catch-up in that class, since I didn’t put in nearly enough time into studying the material, what with my preconceived notions of the course’s difficulty-level.

I was thinking of going out with friends on Thursday– remember what I said in an earlier post about my desire to EXPERIENCE as much as I can while young? I’m not sure if I can anymore, though, with a Russian quiz on Friday and my LS 15 midterm in 9 days, and a dance competition in a few weeks’ time. Lots going on. Must care for mental health and preserve my sanity.

I’m gonna end tonight’s brief post here. I’m just about reaching the watermark of overload. Which means I should try to get some rest… at least try. And then start the grind once more tomorrow (or today, I should say).

I’ve been trying this new thing whenever I start to feel overwhelmed with stress. I recite the script in my head, “Everything will be okay. Don’t stress. Life is beautiful. All will be fine.” Something of that variation. And, even though such words may be difficult to believe in that moment, I still find comfort in them, as they puts my stressors into perspective, drastically reducing their overarching significance. It’s like taking your mind on an airplane ride and leaving on the ground all your stressors– quizzes, exams, midterms, responsibilities, etc.– until the stressors that once were the size of trucks, is now no larger than an ant.

Alrighty guys! Take care of yourselves. Happy Hump Day, and have a great rest of the week!

 

 

 

Love,

Belicia

 

 

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