Pre-Winter Quarter 2018 Thoughts

Hi everyone! I apologize for not having posted in a while.

Lately, I’ve been stuck in some sort of a creative drought, with faltering self-esteem being the culprit. These past couple weeks, my confidence in my voice and story wavered. I began to think, what is an average girl like me doing sharing her story like some self-obsessed, self-absorbed narcissist, ignorant to the world beyond herself? These thoughts brought me back to what this blog came to mean to me, after all these years. My blog, my brain-child, my baby, is a means through which I can use my way with words to inspire others through my highly relatable story. I share my struggle with mental illness; my ongoing journey of finding my calling; my triumphs and pitfalls during some of the most formative years of my life.

Anyway, I’ve decided to come back to blogging, simply because, at the core, I love to write, and I love to tell my story. This reason alone is enough to justify my continuation of this blog.

So, it is currently 2:13pm as I sit at Gate 24, awaiting my flight back to Los Angeles. This time around, I won’t be home for about six months, as I’ve decided to stay at UCLA for spring break. The check-in / security process went smoothly; to my relief, emotions were contained, and no tears were shed by my mother, father or grandmother.

It’s a funny thing, how we find ourselves unable to live in the present. All throughout break, I found myself anxious to get back to daily, busy grind of school. Last night, as I was packing, I wondered why on Earth I didn’t enjoy my break as much as I should have. Why I spent my precious moments with my family arguing, instead of laughing. And in that moment, I wished for just one more day at home, one more day with my loved ones, my life.

How can I learn to live and be happy in the present moment? Meditation and yoga are my friends, in this regard. I will be buying a yoga pass for this quarter— only $45 to attend any of the many yoga classes offered by UCLA Rec.

I’m really looking forward to the other extracurriculars I’m taking on this coming term. As always, I will be dancing and training hard. There are several dance competitions these next few months, so I have a lot to look forward to.

In addition to dancing, I will be picking up– you guessed it– FIGURE SKATING! On Friday, I watched the US Figure Skating Nationals, Ladies Singles event. These national were extra special, as they were also the Olympic qualifiers! I was so inspired after watching the competition… And, being the go-getter I am, I decided to start taking figure skating classes with hopes of achieving my dream of one day becoming a competitive figure skater. Last night, I booked my first lesson with former Olympian, Tiffany Chin. Tiffany is, believe it or not, a fellow Bruin! So relatable, me and her. I’m also enrolled in a weekly adult skating group class that meets every Saturday at 11:45am, for 8 weeks. Very much looking forward to that, as well.

6:32pm

Arrived at my apartment and unpacked my things– or what I have left of them. See, the airline for some reason lost large green suitcase, filled with clothes and other articles of necessity. The TSA person suspects that my suitcase got on the wrong flight– the 5:55pm flight from SFO to LAX. They said they’d give me a call if the luggage turns up when that plane lands, and deliver it to my apartment. Nonetheless, this whole situation has been an ordeal. I start class at 8:00am tomorrow, and I’d rather be focused on that, without this lost suitcase debacle distressing me. Thankfully, I have all my tier-1 necessities– chargers, laptop, medications, toothbrush– with me. The green suitcase was comprised primarily of winter clothes, though I had an expensive pair of leather booties in there as well. I really hope the luggage turns up; otherwise, I will have to buy new clothes, which is a big bummer.

Anyway, I’d better grab some dinner, then get ready for tomorrow. I’ll talk to you guys soon!

Belicia

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