An Open Letter to My First Ex

You were my first love. In all my 21 years of life I had never opened my heart like that to anyone. I had never felt anything so deeply or profoundly before. Before you, I had relinquished any faint hope of finding a good guy. All the guys I met in college were complete immature assholes. But then you entered my life, and it was like my eyes were finally opened to a whole other world… the world of love. In the beginning, it was like magic. Out of all the guys I’d met in my life, you were the first to see me for what I was worth. You saw me beyond the physical. You valued my intelligence, my character, my heart. You made me feel like a queen.

But a flame that burns so brightly is bound to flicker out. We went too fast. Neither of us were ready to be in a relationship. When we met, we were both in the middle of big life transitions. Yet, we dove headfirst into it, only to come crashing down to the bitter reality. And this was the reality. Co-dependency. Instability. Infidelity. Emotional manipulation. Intensity. Ultimatums. Heartbreak.

I wish it didn’t have to end this way. We both made mistakes in the relationship. Some mistakes, however, are irreconcilable. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I hope you find peace, health, and happiness with someone else. I hold no hostility, anger, or resentment towards you. Only sadness that these past five months– volatile as they may have been– have come to an end. Because even though the bad times were terrible, the good times were… perfect.

I will always remember you as my first love. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

 

 

 

Love,

Belicia

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