Hi everyone! It’s Wednesday, March 25, 2020. 8:36pm. Today went by in a blur. I woke up late, around 1pm, after falling asleep at nearly 5am. Insisted on staying up late last night to finish watching the second Hunger Games movie, Catching Fire. Spent most of today watching the the third and fourth installments, Mockingjay Parts 1 and 2.
Besides watching movies, I didn’t really do much else today. Took a quick walk on the levee, then took an online dance class taught by Dancing With the Stars professional, Maks. As the depression grows stronger (my meds still haven’t arrived in the mail), I find it increasingly difficult to find joy in activities I once derived pleasure from, like dancing. Regardless, I was able to make it through the samba dance class, and for that, I’m proud of myself.
I spent most of today in a lot of physical pain. Presently, I have two canker sores– one behind my tongue, and one on my lower lip. Eating has become torturous, with each bite sending blinding waves of pain through my mouth. I basically did not eat anything today. A shame, since my mother so graciously made my favorite fried rice for dinner tonight, and I couldn’t touch it.
In addition to the canker sores, my head was spinning all day long. I don’t know if it was a bad case of vertigo, or if I’m getting an inner ear infection, which could explain the slight discomfort in my left ear. But when I tried running on the levee, I kept losing my balance, so I eventually slowed my pace to a walk. When I got home, I was running up the stairs when I lost slipped and fell. Don’t worry, no injuries, just a couple minutes of intense pain in my foot.
Didn’t do much writing today, other than writing this blog post. Today, like yesterday, and the day before, was difficult. Words aren’t flowing. Creativity is running dry. Sinking back into the pits of depression. 100% because I’m off of my meds, since silly old me didn’t order a refill on time. Lesson learned: always stock up on your meds, especially during these unusual circumstances, when going out of the house is not always convenient.
Oh well. I’ll get through this. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better. But really, I feel myself slipping again. I guess I just have to keep trying to fight. Yes, tomorrow will be alright. I’ll exercise, even when my body screams for me to stay in bed. I’ll write, even when the words won’t come. I’ll study, even though my mind is vacant. And once I get back on my meds, everything will be fine once more.